Trustoleum

Today I received a major pat on the back.

I do receive compliments rather often, specifically about my work, but this one felt like very high praise because it came from someone I respect.

My coworker/friend told me that she was going to recommend me for the division supervisor position that is soon to be vacated.

I'm not sure that I'd even want the position, especially considering that it would put me on the blame line for every shortcoming or snafu in the division, but that's hardly the point. I received praise from someone I trust and respect.

Yes, thankfully, I do get that praise at home as well, and there's no one I trust or respect more than my wife, but I've been reticent to open up to anyone else for fear of betrayal or of being a disappointment to them.

I always was, and still am, a great disappointment to my parents and I know that has affected all of my relationships. After all, I was their failure.

Until recently I've been unable to trust anyone enough to open up to them. I've had to force myself, feigning indifference to the possibility that I may be ridiculed or rejected. But since I've chosen to get past those artificial social barriers, almost ignoring my low self esteem, I've seen some things I hadn't expected at all.

Maybe some people can be trusted.

Maybe.

At the very least, it's good to know that my investment of confidence in someone outside of my inner sanctum has yielded a substantial return.