Day 70

Another round number. Ooh, aah.

OK, and I'm a day late. A whole day, in fact, since I'm about to pen day 71's notes right after this.

It was a strange day yesterday though. I felt some of the effects of depression creeping back in, namely my belief that somehow, someday, I'll catch a major financial windfall, be it a lottery win, a massive find, or the extreme generosity of an as of yet unknown to me benefactor.

I've had this for a while; this asinine expectation that I would some day no longer have to work for a living, and that I would be so well to do that I would never have to worry about money again.

Now that's not a bad thing to hope for, well, dream about, but to carry it along as some fervent expectation.... To be honest it feels like a remnant effect of having been a member of a faith and prosperity movement church for a few years. It's a hard one to relinquish, almost on par with the hope for an eternity in paradise in the afterlife.

Who would want to give up on that one?

I used to think of myself as a dreamer, but frankly I'm more of a pipe dreamer.

Reality sucks. I like fantasy much better.

But hey, if this weight loss thing is any indication, there's at least one part of me that firmly believes that results come from hard work and consistency, not miracles.

Day 70: 5.5 miles in 90 minutes.