Day 41

I'm not 100% sure, but I might need to use Sundays as they were intended. I'm not dreading the walking, but my body is starting to feel the brunt of my intensity.

I don't want to take a day off. It would feel like taking several steps backwards. However, I'm no closer to reaching goal #1 when I'm unable to set the speed any higher because of the pain.

I think I need to slow it down for a few days; make it feel like a break without actually taking one.

Having already lost 27+ pounds I have no intention of relenting. I'm actually considering adding some other types of exercise to the mix to help things along, without, of course, reducing the walks at all.

I've been doing 6 miles per day these past few days, but even with the pain I still feel like it's not enough. Sure, the numbers on the scale seem to change every day, but the guy in the mirror still looks just about the same. Trust me, I'm beyond tired of looking at that horribly misshapen lump of blubber held together by hairy, stretched-out, and pale skin.

Yecch!

That being said, I've been down this road before. Even when the image in the mirror changes the one in my head is still the same. It's the hardest part of completely remodeling yourself: you can never quite erase the mental image upon which your self esteem is based. Maybe you can, but at least for me I know that even when I looked my best the horrible memories of my prior appearance were not enough to keep me from gaining it all back again.

This time has to be different. It's not longer a question of trying to live comfortably. It has officially become a life or death situation.

Diabetes. I know so many people who have the condition and learn to live with it. That's not good enough. I have to get rid of it.

So I walk. And God help me, I can't ever again consider stopping. Not even for one day.

Day 41: 6 miles in 100 minutes, including CD.