Day 78

I'm under 220. Woohoo!

It's about #$%^ time too.

At least now when I go back to the doctor I can show that I've lost over 50 pounds. I'm hoping my bp and blood sugar levels are more normal so I can stop taking these pills.

Of course I'll follow his guidance no matter what.

I came to terms today with one of the things that has been bothering me so much: my abstinence from guitar playing.

My parents raised me to believe that if I liked anything too much it was wrong. As a suspected Asperger my likes had a tendency to be rather specific and intense. There was nothing I could do to get away from the feeling that I was unhealthily obsessed with anything that ignited my passion.

Also, since the last time I played guitar seriously I played for a church. I don't attend church any more, and have no intention of ever doing it again, even though my whole life revolved around it for so long.

Inject religion into the mix and I have a recipe for overwhelming guilt.

Guilt be damned.

I love to ogle, design, buy, discuss, daydream about, and, yes, even play guitars.

Ladies and gentlemen, I, a 40 year old man who has finally allowed himself to enjoy what life has to offer without feeling utter condemnation, am the product of a fundamentalist Christian upbringing.

If you want to raise confused, socially inept, guilt-ridden, depressed, unhappy children, by all means, raise them in church. Home school them, even.

However, if you love your children let them experience the world as it was meant to be experienced: with open eyes, ears, heart, and mind; without preconceptions or prejudices.

Let them be who they are because they will never succeed at being something they're not.

Day 78: 5.4 miles in 90 minutes.

Achy. Bad weather.